Further Afield

DORSET
Dorset’s a bastard to get to from Bristol/Bath if you’re driving. Oh, sure, it’s near enuff as the crow flies, but it takes a bleedin’ eternity to get to. In the south-west peninsula, it’s easy enough to drive west to east and vice versa, but north-south is harder. That’s why Dorset seems psychologically further away from Bristol or Bath than Cornwall does. There’s one way round it, and that’s to take the train. The so-called Heart of Wessex line runs from Bristol via Bath, all the way to Weymouth. It’s one of the nicest rail journeys in the south of England, with several stops en route if you want to get off for some walking or exploring (find more at www.heartofwessex.org.uk – there are several guided walks through the season), and it ends up in a nice, big, proper old seaside town with lots of fun for all the family.

If you’re going in the car, Dorset has loads to offer. Nice little roads and some interesting little towns. Try Sherborne, a rather posh place with an old-fashioned ‘county town’ feel and a fascinating abbey, plus a castle built by Sir Walter Raleigh. Or Dorchester – you’ve got to do Dorchester if you’re into Thomas Hardy novels (nice Hardy section in the county museum). Dorchester is also home to little museums with fake ancient Egyptian stuff and fake Chinese terracotta warriors, which are expensive to get into and hugely (and quite inexplicably) popular. Halfway between Sherborne and Dorchester is Cerne Abbas, home of the well-endowed ancient gentleman carved into a nearby hillside. It’s obviously worth stopping, although be warned that your photographs will always be disappointing unless you hire a helicopter (BTW, they do say that couples who want to have a baby should make love on top of the giant schlong, but we couldn’t possibly comment). The village of Cerne Abbas itself is also very lovely and worth a look and there are a couple of shops selling souvenirs along the man-with-a-huge-penis theme. We especially liked the clock with a prehistoric willy instead of the minute-hand.

Poole is good, too – a big unpretentious seaside resort. From Poole you can get to Brownsea Island, where Baden-Powell started off that boy-scouting thing. Brownsea Island was the site of the first-ever scout camp in history. The National Trust owns the island and it’s one of the few remaining habitats in the south of England for red squirrels, though if you do actually see any, you should feel quite lucky.

The other thing you shouldn’t miss about Dorset is Chesil Beach, which is the name for the rocky-to-pebbly beach that constitutes most of its coastline. You can’t build sandcastles, but a lot of it is very quiet and unspoiled.

CORNWALL
Just say no. Cornwall? Don’t do it. Every summer the little narrow roads and country lanes are crammed full of grockles and surfers and camper vans and Lycra-clad loons on bikes and drunken hoorays and drunken chavs (depending on location) fornicating and puking on the beach… Yeah, great idea.

You go to Cornwall in term-time and, apart from the beaches and seafood and pubs, you should visit Cornwall for the gardens and plants. Kernow, with its own noticeably different climate to the rest of us, has some of the finest and most interesting gardens in England. Think Lanhydrock, Trelissick, Trerice and Cotehele (all National Trust) and the legendary Lost Gardens of Heligan (www.heligan.com). Also, though it’s actually just over the border in Devon, one of the Days Out Guide’s favourite gardens is at Hartland Abbey (www.hartlandabbey.com) next to the very lovely rugged coast at Hartland Point, which offers some excellent walking.

The most famous greenery in Cornwall these days is at the Eden Project (www.edenproject.com) – like the beaches, this shouldn’t be visited on hot days during the peak holiday season. It can get horribly hot in those big greenhouse thingies. And (see Wales section) the National Botanic Garden of Wales is just as nice (if not nicer) and easier to get to, and less crowded. But yes, OK, Cornwall is brilliant provided you’re not in a car and can find a corner of it to yourself.

DEVON
Devon is wonderful. All of it. Apart from Plymouth and Ilfracombe. Ilfracombe could be lovely, but it’s tacky. Plymouth – well, there are parts of it you don’t want to go without an armed escort. There are some beautiful seaside towns on the north and south coasts, and what people tend to forget is that most of them have a wonderfully old-fashioned feel, as though you’ve just arrived here on your holidays by steam train some time in the 1950s. And yeah, actually, you do wonder why anyone in their right mind would want to spend a week in some crowded Spanish resort when they could be in Dartmouth, Torbay, Lynton/Lynmouth or Salcombe instead.

Inland, there is, of course, Exeter, a place which would be perfect if it wasn’t for its redeveloped post-war city centre but which many people will tell you is a wonderful place with loads of history and culture. And moors. Anyone completely stuck for a day-long countryside adventure from Bristol/Bath should simply point the vehicle at Exmoor and see what happens.

HEREFORDSHIRE
The most rural county in England, fact fans. Hereford itself is OK (interesting cathedral, home to the famous Mappa Mundi medieval map, big fight every Saturday night), and it’s worth investigating for its walking, cycling and fishing. Go over to the Welsh borders, and you’ll find Hay-on-Wye, which is the best thing of all in Herefordshire, or maybe Wales (we’ve never been able to discover where, precisely, the border is here). Hay, as everyone knows, is full of secondhand bookshops of all shapes and sizes, some of them with a bit of everything, and some of them tending to specialise in particular genres, such as crime or sci-fi. Of course, since books are what Hay is famous for, you can expect to find lots of literary treasures, but don’t expect anything in the way of bargains. What tends not to be appreciated by those who’ve never been is what a pleasant, unspoiled little town it is, set in some great walking country and complete with some fabulous pubs.

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